Sweet Days (Four Days Book 2) Read online

  better, you can tell yourself that.”

  I start getting nervous and divert my glance. I

  don’t want to tell her to fuck off, but I’m getting

  pretty close.

  “I don’t know what you think you saw or

  understood, but I assure you that—”

  “When you’re ready,” she interrupts me, “you’ll

  see it for yourself. Things don’t always turn out

  badly, you know? Love is a sacrifice, it means you

  gotta lay your cards down and give to the other

  person, but Patrick, what you get in return is

  priceless,” she concludes, giving me a kiss on the

  cheek and turns away from me, going back to the

  others, leaving me like a big fucking asshole

  standing in the middle of a room halfway between

  two doors: one leads to the upstairs apartment and

  the other one leads to the bar exit.

  I shake my head and take a step forward, toward

  the front door and then stop again. I look down

  angrily, clenching my fists.

  You don’t have to do it, Patrick, I tell myself.

  You’re not obligated to.

  The guys are waiting for me near the door.

  “You go ahead, I’ll close up,” I say, avoiding

  looking at Rain’s satisfied smile.

  ~ ~ ~

  I wasn’t able to be away from her for even twenty-

  four hours. I can’t put the brakes on this instinct I

  have to be next to her, to make sure she’s all right.

  I have a growing and frightening need to protect

  her and take care of her.

  Slowly, I climb the stairs, hoping and praying

  that she’s sleeping, that she’s locked the door and

  that she doesn’t hear me knock.

  Please, let her refuse my help.

  The music coming from inside tells me it’s not

  my lucky night.

  I knock on the door but I can see it isn’t locked,

  so I push it and take a deep breath, asking my

  lungs to fill themselves because the sight of her

  takes away both my breath and my certainty.

  Erin is tidying up the living room. She’s

  wearing a pair of sweatpants low on her waist so

  that you can see the first signs of her pregnancy. A

  faded T-shirt that just covers her rounded belly, her

  hair is short, pulled back into an improvised

  ponytail that’s not doing its job very well.

  She’s singing and moving as if she were

  following some dance moves, light and sensual as

  I feel one of the pillars of my dignity falling.

  I observe her, completely enraptured by this

  young woman whose future is all-uphill, but who

  has a smile on her face that would placate even a

  bear like me.

  So I’m surprised to see you with my eyes, the

  stereo says, and I swallow my pride hard.

  It’s nice to meet you… Nice to meet you4

  And it’s the first time my eyes have really seen

  her, that they fall upon her sincerely and only

  because they want to be filled with her light and

  her grace. I look at her as if I were meeting her

  now, as if I hadn’t seen her four nights a week for

  the last year.

  As if I were seeing her for the first time.

  And yet, it’s still her, Erin, the girl who works at

  the pub. Rain’s friend. The girl who got pregnant

  by some bastard who left her for someone else.

  4 Nice to Meet You, The Reign of Kindo, Rhythm, Chord & Melody

  The girl I never thought I would meet, never

  could imagine that I would caress.

  The girl that is destroying all of my barriers and

  bringing away every piece of me.

  12

  Erin

  “Jesus, Patrick, you scared the shit out of me!

  What are you doing here?”

  “Sorry, I tried knocking, but the music was too

  loud and the door was open, so … I just wanted to

  know how you are.”

  “Don’t you have anything else to do, huh?” I sit

  down, feeling stupid for being jealous.

  He doesn’t answer, but comes towards me

  slowly, sending all of my senses tilting.

  “What!” I ask, just about to explode.

  Stupid hormones.

  “How’d it go today?”

  “Well, you were there too it seems.”

  “I’m referring to the medical exam. What did

  the doctor tell you?”

  “Why are you so interested, Patrick? I mean, I

  am thankful for your help and everything, but you

  don’t have any obligation to look after me. Don’t

  feel like you’ve got to miss out on any dates

  because of me.”

  “Who told you I had a date?”

  He thinks I’m an idiot.

  I go to the window where you can see the street

  below and pull back the curtain. “Because your

  date is down there waiting for you.”

  He goes to the window and takes a look. “Well,

  I don’t have any dates, not with her or anyone

  else.”

  “Doesn’t seem like she’s aware of that,” I say,

  giving the girl a hard stare.

  “I don’t have any date.”

  “You don’t need to justify yourself, Patrick. You

  have no obligations with me, you’re not the one

  who got me pregnant!” I yell, falling into a

  hysterical crisis.

  I immediately regret my words.

  He seems resentful. In his eyes I see anger and

  … pain.

  “I understand,” he says, raising his hands and

  backing off angrily.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing. Forget it. I just passed by to see if

  you’re okay, but evidently I shouldn’t have.”

  “You do a lot of things you shouldn’t do.” I

  judge him to be insensitive through and through.

  I’m angry with him and I have no reason to be.

  “Can I ask you what it is I’ve done to you, huh?

  Why are you so angry with me? Because of the

  other night?”

  “I’m not mad at you at all!” I yell even louder

  with my hands on my hips.

  “Come on, Erin, what’s going on? Up until a

  few days ago we were friends…”

  I burst out laughing. “Friends? You and I are

  nothing, Patrick. Ah, no, excuse me. You are my

  boss and I’m a worker, and so you worry about my

  health.”

  “Is that the problem? We’re back to that?”

  I don’t answer, not knowing how to. I’m out of

  sorts at his presence and the way he confuses my

  ideas. His unexpected sweetness mixed together

  with his rude manners. His wanting to be next to

  me and then hightailing it out of here as soon as he

  let’s himself go a bit.

  By all that my heart whispers to me when I

  catch a wandering soul in his eyes, and by what

  my head yells at me when those same eyes want to

  swallow me whole, leaving me nowhere to run.

  Patrick runs a hand through his perfectly cut

  hair on his perfect head, that’s set on a body that

  would be tailor-made to give me perfect orgasms.

  That’s it. I’m perfectly out of control.

  “You know that’s not
what you are for me,” he

  adds, sweetening his voice.

  The phrase hangs in the air. A phrase that could

  have three thousand different hidden meanings, but

  in which I see only one, and it’s the one I should

  be seeing.

  I shake my head and go back to the window.

  The girl isn’t there anymore. She must have heard

  our screaming match.

  “You missed out,” I say sarcastically. “Your date

  left.”

  He huffs as he walks over to me.

  Oh God.

  I breathe in with great effort, begging my lungs

  to take on their regular function, but it would seem

  that he has consumed all the air in this room,

  because it’s as if his big overwhelming presence

  here is stealing all of the oxygen that there is in

  this apartment and the whole world, because I’m

  no longer able to breathe next to him.

  “The only company I want tonight is yours,” he

  says in a whisper that tickles my neck, waking all

  of my senses and accentuating my very evident

  emotional state.

  I’d like to be able to throw myself into his arms.

  Let them embrace me and comfort me. I’d like to

  feel his lips on my face, on my mouth and every

  centimeter of my skin. I’d like to burn under these

  hands that delicately caress my shoulders, but

  seem to have an unexpected, magnetic effect on

  me, but I know how dangerous this is.

  “Let me stay, Erin. Please,” he continues,

  resting his forehead on my shoulder.

  “Why? I’m not one of your playthings you can

  set aside the next day. You can never have a few

  hours of sex and a goodbye kiss from me. I’m

  pregnant, Patrick! I don’t have time for these

  things.”

  “You’re right, you’re not some plaything and

  you never would be, Erin. Pregnant or not, I would

  never think of you in that way.”

  I turn slowly, hoping that his hands will stop

  making me boil from within.

  “Of course not. Because I’m not like the others,

  right? I’m not gorgeous, fascinating and maybe a

  bit easy?”

  “No, you’re not like the others.”

  “I’m not enough? Is that what you’re trying to

  tell me? That you could spend some time with me

  without feeling the desire to fuck me on the couch

  until tomorrow morning?”

  “No, Erin. I don’t have the desire to throw you

  on the couch nor do I think I ever will.”

  “Humph. I don’t think that’s a nice

  compliment.” I turn away to make some distance

  b e t w e e n u s , f e e l i n g t h i s h u m i l i a t i n g

  disappointment that is burning me from within.

  He rubs my shoulder, sliding his hand down my

  arm until he reaches my hand. He gently squeezes

  my fingers and I feel my legs giving way due to

  the anxiety and sheer emotion I feel.

  God, he must be good in bed.

  “I wouldn’t fuck you on that couch or on the

  floor or in bed or in any other place because you,

  Erin, are not a girl who gets fucked and left.”

  I hold my breath and try to keep my heart inside

  my ribcage.

  “You’re a woman to love, Erin. A woman to

  make love with, all night. Every night.”

  Patrick

  In one stupid fucking night I throw away my

  whole life. A few looks, a few tears, that’s all it

  takes to cut me down like some brainless asshole.

  Because I know it’s all wrong. I know I’m all

  wrong.

  I can’t love someone.

  I can’t love her.

  I’m not the kind of guy that loves one woman,

  and does so for the rest of his life. I’m not the kind

  of man who can take care of someone else, much

  less myself.

  I know how to be a friend; the kind you can

  count on to help you out of a jam, someone to

  cover your ass, someone to pick you up when

  you’re completely drunk.

  But I’m not a man who loves and more than

  that, I’m not a man to be loved.

  It doesn’t bother me that that’s what everyone

  thinks. It doesn’t bother me that the whole world

  thinks I’m a mother you-know-what.

  I don’t want her to think that.

  Erin has always been a friend, a hard worker.

  She’s a fun girl, smart like no one I know. She’s

  not fuckable. I had this idea very clear the first

  night she came to work for us. With her ironed

  work clothes, her short-styled hair tucked behind

  her ears. Her light, yet professional make-up. Her

  formal and grammatically correct way of speaking.

  I understood very quickly that she’s not the kind of

  trashy woman that I would want to take liberties

  with. Not even considering that she’d be working

  with us, I could not ruin things by taking her to

  bed.

  And everything was going just fine.

  She started bringing around that asshole

  boyfriend of hers. I didn’t see him much in the

  pub, he didn’t go for that type of atmosphere, but it

  was enough to see him a few times to understand

  what kind of man she liked and I certainly wasn’t

  in that category. I like her, always have, but I put

  her in the ‘non fuckable’ category and she

  remained there until today, or maybe to be honest,

  until a few weeks ago.

  I knew it was wrong the minute I set foot in her

  life, but really, in the beginning, I just wanted to

  lend a hand. She was in a spot, right? And that’s

  what I do when somebody’s in trouble, I go to

  their rescue.

  But then, something inside me broke. I would

  even dare to say it melted. My heart, trapped in a

  block of ice, started moving without curing me of

  the disaster that it would provoke in me.

  Because she’s alone and vulnerable. And she’s

  about to have some other man’s baby. I happen to

  know what it’s like to raise a family just with your

  own resources. “You don’t get the urge to throw

  me on the couch and fuck me ’til tomorrow?” she

  said to me.

  How could she even think something like that?

  Did I ever make her think this is how I thought

  of her? Of course I desire her, but I couldn’t do it,

  and not only because I’m a bastard. I want her

  because I’d like her, now, with everything that

  entails.

  And so it is that the words come flowing out. I

  have no idea where they come from. Listening to

  her use the work ‘fuck’ almost gives me the

  shivers. I can’t stand hearing her talk in that crude

  way. I can’t stand the idea that she even thinks that

  way.

  “I wouldn’t fuck you on that couch or on the

  floor or in bed or any other place because you,

  Erin, are not a girl who gets fucked and left.

  You’re a woman to love, Erin. A woman to make

  love with, all night. Every night.”

  Now I feel like Liam. And to think I m
ade fun

  of him so badly all this time.

  I was an idiot. Not him, not the others.

  I’m the one who is wrong.

  “You’re delirious, Patrick. You’re confusing

  me!”

  She musses her unruly hair before covering her

  face with her hands. “Please, go away,” she says in

  a determined tone.

  “I’d like to stay,” I say on the verge of the

  abyss.

  “Why are you doing this? Why now? Now that

  I’m … oh forget it!”

  “Now that you’re going to have a baby? Is that

  what you’re trying to say? Do you think it makes a

  difference to me?”

  “Uh, well, it should, because it’s important to

  me, Patrick. It’s the only thing that matters. I can’t

  afford to be distracted by you or by anyone else.”

  “It’s important to you? So that means…” I close

  the distance between us, hoping to catch her eye.

  “You’ve decided to keep it?”

  She lets her hands fall to her sides and looks me

  right in the eye.

  “Now that you know, you can go. There’s

  nothing for you here.”

  Maybe she doesn’t understand.

  “I already knew you would keep him. I know

  you, Erin, better than you may think.”

  I take her hand and invite her to sit with me on

  the couch, so that we’re facing each other.

  “I couldn’t do it, not after hearing its heartbeat.”

  Her eyes fill with tears. “It’s my baby, do you

  understand?”

  Of course I understand. More than she knows.

  “Now I imagine you’ll want to hightail it out of

  here.”

  I shake my head and take her chin in my

  fingers.

  “You can’t imagine how wrong you are, Erin.”

  “I can’t, don’t you understand? I can’t let you

  get close to me, not now, especially not now. Not

  knowing that you could leave in any given

  moment. I need someone who stays all night and

  doesn’t leave the next day. And you, Patrick, are

  one who leaves in the middle of the night with the

  bed still hot.”

  “I could…”

  She shuts me up by placing a finger on my lips.

  “We both know it’s not because of you. I thank

  you for you’re being here and your help, but no.

  I’m trying to recover from my break-up with Nate

  and I have to get used to all the newness of the

  situation, the changes and I don’t have these kinds

  of things in mind.”

  I have to ask her because my jealousy is slowly

  consuming me and it’s something new that I’ve