Ian (O'Connor Brothers #1) Read online

  IAN

  O’Connor Brothers BOOK 1

  A. S. Kelly

  Table of Contents

  IAN

  The Book

  Ian

  Prologue

  1. Ian

  2. Ian

  3. Ian

  4. Ian

  5. Ian

  6. Ian

  7. Ian

  8. Ian

  9. Ian

  10. Ian

  11. Ian

  12. Ian

  13. Riley

  14. Ian

  15. Riley

  16. Ian

  17. Ian

  18. Ian

  19. Ian

  20. Ian

  21. Ian

  22. Riley

  23. Riley

  24. Ian

  25. Riley

  26. Ian

  27. Riley

  28. Ian

  29. Riley

  30. Ian

  31. Riley

  32. Ian

  33. Riley

  34. Ian

  35. Riley

  36. Ian

  37. Riley

  38. Ian

  39. Riley

  40. Ian

  41. Riley

  42. Ian

  43. Ian

  44. Riley

  45. Riley

  46. Ian

  47. Riley

  48. Ian

  49. Riley

  50. Ian

  51. Riley

  52. Ian

  53. Riley

  54. Ian

  55. Riley

  56. Ian

  57. Riley

  58. Ian

  59. Riley

  60. Ian

  61. Riley

  62. Ian

  63. Riley

  64. Ian

  65. Riley

  66. Ian

  67. Riley

  68. Ian

  69. Riley

  70. Ian

  71. Riley

  72. Ian

  73. Riley

  74. Ian

  75. Riley

  76. Ian

  77. Riley

  78. Ian

  79. Riley

  80. Ian

  Epilogue

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Follow A. S. Kelly

  Also by A. S. Kelly

  Copyright © 2019 A. S. Kelly

  IAN

  O’Connor Brothers

  Book 1

  A. S. Kelly

  English Edition

  Translation by Kathleen Fitzgerald and Abigail Prowse

  Literary and artistic property reserved.

  All rights reserved. Unauthorised reproduction prohibited.

  This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and storyline are the fruit of the author’s imagination or are used in a fictional sense. Any similarity to facts, places or people living or deceased is purely coincidental.

  Photography by Wander Aguiar Photography

  The Book

  A year ago, she begged me to stay.

  A year later, it’s my turn to beg her not to go.

  My obsession. My downfall.

  I tried to resist, to keep her at a distance.

  I tried to save myself.

  But no one will be saved here, not even a selfish bastard like me.

  My life has always been about sport and family, including my stupid brothers. Until that night, the night I made the worst decision of my life. And I’m still paying the price for it.

  We both are.

  But the time has come to take back control of the situation, to risk it all, to convince her to let me in, because she can’t be anything other than mine.

  I am Ian O’Connor, and I’m about to accept this challenge: to try and hold on to the only woman I’ll ever be able to love.

  And even if I already know how this badly written romance is going to end, I won’t back away. This time, I’m going all the way. Because I only want her.

  And I have no intention of losing her.

  I’m an O’Connor, and the O’Connors never lose.

  Ian

  All actions and choices have consequences. When I make a decision, I know full well that it could be the wrong one, but instinct, something I always listen to, makes you react quickly, before letting yourself get distracted by something else.

  And that’s what I do.

  I’m constantly making decisions under pressure, both from others and from myself.

  I don’t let myself be influenced. I don’t listen to others. And I don’t go back on what I’ve done. I don’t have regrets. I accept what happens and take responsibility for it.

  It’s been like that for thirty years.

  And yet once, pushed by fear, I made the wrong decision, and I learned, at my own expense, that there is no worse influence.

  Fear is a cage that imprisons you, and once you’re in it, you are no longer able to free yourself from the chains that you have bound around your heart and body.

  I made the worst decision of my life when I was wrapped in a false sense of security, in the cage of fear I created for myself.

  And I’m still paying the price.

  But now is the time to set things straight. It’s time to make another decision that will lead to a fucking disaster: but I can’t avoid it.

  Even if it could cost me dearly.

  Even if it could cost me everything.

  Even if it means losing.

  Losing her.

  Prologue

  Ian

  Three years earlier

  The music is too loud, the voices too rowdy. The alcohol, my drunk friends, the overly-excited guests. The women are the same groupies as always, hoping to lure in a sports champion.

  I hate these parties. I hate these people.

  I hate my whole life.

  I just want to play. Rugby is the only thing I know how to do, and the only thing that makes me feel good. It’s what shapes my identity: without rugby, I wouldn’t be anything.

  “Hey, champ.” A woman approaches the bar and takes the stool next to me. She touches my arm, and my nerves go rigid.

  “We haven’t met yet.”

  Maybe because I had no intention of meeting you.

  “I’m Marilyn.”

  Oh, that’s original.

  “I’m here with some friends. Big supporters of the team.”

  Well, you don’t say.

  “This might seem silly to you, but I actually came here hoping to meet you.” She squeezes my arm as I grip my glass tighter.

  She raises her hand slowly, sensually, up to my shoulder.

  “May I ask if this player is here with anybody tonight?” She whispers.

  I take a deep breath and turn away, ready to put a stop to this before it can begin, when someone wraps their arms around my neck, practically choking me.

  “Here I am! Sorry I’m late!”

  She hugs me and pushes her lips against mine. “I couldn’t find a taxi,” she says, slowly pulling away from me.

  I’m surprised and completely taken aback, but she smiles at me, winking. “Did you order me anything to drink?”

  “Er, I…” I mutter like an absolute idiot.

  Then she turns to the intruder and says dryly, “I think this is my seat.”

  I’m lucky I don’t choke on my own saliva.

  Embarrassed, the woman gets up and leaves the bar without a word, and this stranger, who appeared out of nowhere, sits down next to me.

  “Vodka and lemonade, please,” she tells the barman. “Heavy on the vodka, easy on the lemonade,” she adds.

  Then she turns to me and smiles.

  Again.

  The barman sets
her drink down, and she immediately takes a few sips.

  I stay there, frozen. Dumbstruck. Mute.

  “So…” she begins, turning to face me, “it looks like you owe me a favour – an enormous one.”

  “Me? What?” I snap out of my daze.

  “I saved your life.”

  “Are you joking?” I raise an eyebrow.

  “I’m being completely serious.” Her face is too.

  “And how’s that, exactly? Let’s hear it.”

  “I’ve saved you from a boring night, first of all. From that leech trying to slide herself into your bed –maybe even your life! From a failed marriage spent buying shoes and clothes for your trophy wife.”

  I burst out laughing.

  “You’re not exaggerating there, are you?”

  She laughs too.

  “Perhaps, a bit, but you know, you never know how the night is going to turn out, what one meeting might lead to. Sometimes, a person can change your whole life, whether you want them to or not, and the results aren’t always good.”

  “Seems to me like your imagination is running a bit wild. And I could’ve got rid of her without your help.”

  “Huh. Sure seemed to me like you were in trouble.”

  “Trust me, I know how to defend myself.”

  She looks me over for a few seconds.

  “Yes, I imagine you do,” she says rolling her eyes. “Anyway, it’s too late now.”

  “For what?”

  “You’re tied to me forever.”

  “Really?”

  “You better believe it. You’re in big debt with me, my friend.”

  I look at her, amused.

  “You could also pay up right away and consider yourself free.”

  “And what would that involve?”

  “A dance. With me.” She nods towards the dance floor at the end of the room.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t dance.”

  Her lip curls in disappointment.

  “Oh, that’s too bad for you,” she says, putting down her drink and standing up. “I’ll find someone else to dance with, and you’ll still be in debt to me. And all debts must be repaid,” she whispers in my ear before heading towards the dance floor in her red backless dress.

  I watch her disappear into the crowd, still thrown off by the unlikely encounter, when my brother, Ryan, sits himself down next to me.

  “Where’d she come from?”

  I shrug.

  “Same old gold digger looking for something exciting?”

  “Probably,” I say, unconvinced.

  “You don’t want to let her get away.” Ryan elbows me and gestures across the room with his head. I see Jake, one of my teammates, approach her and another girl.

  “You should do something.”

  “I have no intention of doing anything.”

  “Ian…”

  “Don’t start with me.”

  “Maybe you could…”

  “Stop.”

  “She doesn’t seem too bad.”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

  “Well then, what is it?”

  I sigh. “That’s not the kind of woman you can forget about after a night or two.”

  “And you picked up all of this insight by having a two-minute conversation with her?”

  “I just know, that’s all.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “A fucking disaster.”

  Ryan shakes his head in disapproval as I force myself to watch the scene playing out a few metres in front of me.

  Jake approaches the girl and smiles at her.

  I sit up straight on my stool.

  Jake talks to her, unloading all of his charm, and she blushes.

  I feel my stomach burst into flames.

  Jake offers her his hand. She looks at her friend, who nods, then accepts it and follows him to the dance floor.

  I jump to my feet instinctively.

  Jake puts his hand on her bare back and lets it slide down slowly to her waist and she tilts her head to the side in surprise, perhaps a bit uncomfortable with the gesture.

  I rest my elbow on the counter behind me.

  Jake whispers in her ear, and she smiles again: mouth, eyes and face.

  Everything.

  Every part of her is smiling.

  And my legs are shaking.

  1

  Ian

  Present

  I open the front door with my key and am immediately surrounded by the delicious aroma of my mother’s baked ham. I smile to myself, knowing that she probably made it just for me; she always does when I come home. It’s one of my favorite meals, and she spoils me like a little kid.

  “Hey, I’m home,” I say as I walk into the living room and find my father sitting on the sofa in front of the TV.

  “Ian?” He turns towards me. “What are you doing here?”

  I furrow my brow. “Mum invited me over for dinner.”

  “Yes, of course,” he says distractedly, turning back to the screen.

  I go to the kitchen where my mother has set the table for three. We haven’t used the dining room for a long time. We’re never all together in a big group like we used to be.

  “Sweetheart,” Mum says, hugging me a bit too tightly, and letting go slowly, rubbing my face where a beard has been growing undisturbed for a few weeks now.

  “It’s nice to have you home,” she smiles tenderly, and a wave of sadness washes over me.

  I know she’s happy that I’m here just as I know she misses my brothers, but neither of them ever make an effort to come over.

  “Everything’s all ready. Can you tell your father it’s time to eat, please?”

  “Of course.” I give her a kiss on the cheek and go back to the living room where the TV’s still on, but my father isn’t there anymore.

  I knock on the bathroom door under the stairs, but he’s not there either. I call to him from downstairs to see if he’d maybe gone upstairs to his room, but there’s no answer.

  I go to make my way back to the kitchen when I see the front door is slightly ajar, knowing I closed it when I came in.

  I go over and look out the window: my father is standing on the pavement, looking out to the street. I go over to him, but he isn’t aware of my presence. I touch his shoulder, and he jerks his head towards me, confused.

  “What are you doing out here?”

  He looks at me, but not really. His eyes are looking into mine, but his attention is elsewhere.

  “Dad?”

  “Ian? What are you doing here?” he asks, finally recognizing me.

  “I’m…” the words die in my throat. And maybe something else too.

  “Let’s go inside, dinner’s ready.”

  “It’s already dinner time?” he asks innocently, and I force a smile.

  “Mum’s made ham.”

  “Ham? That means Ian must be on his way. It’s one of his favorite meals, you know, and Karen loves spoiling the kids.” he laughs, shaking his head as he makes his way into the house. He stops at the doorway and turns to me.

  “Will you stay for dinner with us?” he asks kindly.

  “Why not – thank you,” I manage, before the lump in my throat becomes too big to swallow.

  “That’s good, good.”

  My father heads into the house, leaving the door open and me standing outside alone, wondering what the future holds for the man who worked endlessly to give our family everything we needed.

  Lost in my thoughts, I don’t see Mum until she appears at my side. I open my arms, and she hides herself in them, resting her head on my chest. I wrap her up and kiss her head.

  “Why didn’t you tell me right away?”

  “I didn’t want to worry you. He didn’t want me to.”

  I nod, pulling her closer to me.

  “It’s all happening so quickly, Ian. I’m not ready to lose him.”

  “I’m not ready either,” I say into her hair.

  “W
e still have so much to do together.”

  “I know,” I agree, defeatedly.

  Mum sighs before pulling away from me, attempting to compose herself. I dry her tears with my thumbs and give her my best forced smile.

  “Let’s go inside. Your father is waiting,” she says as she slowly walks back to the front door.

  “Mum?” I ask before she reaches the house. “Do you think we should call…”

  “I don’t know how long we’ll have his full attention for,” she says calmly. She’s always calm. “But what I don’t want is for them to come here and then start doing what they always do. So, let’s wait a little while longer. If things get worse, we’ll talk about it then.”

  She heads in, while I stay outside a few more minutes, breathing slowly, attempting to calm the storm of emotion battering against me. And it’s something that I need to address right away, because I won’t be able to do this on my own. I’m not strong enough.