Sweet Days (Four Days Book 2) Read online

  from these things, from defenseless girls in need of

  help, comfort and support. But this one just landed

  right in my lap without my permission and even

  though I tried to push her away, I cannot ignore

  that Erin needs help right now, that she needs

  people close to her. She’s like family after all;

  she’s been with us for a year. Rain loves her.

  Everyone in the bar likes her, and now she’s alone.

  We can’t abandon her.

  I can’t abandon her.

  Slowly, she drifts off to sleep, cradled by my

  words. I get up carefully as to not wake her and

  then crouch down to pick her up to take her to the

  bedroom, where she will be more comfortable.

  I draw her to me to balance the weight and her

  heat mixes with mine. A shiver runs down my back

  and my arms start to shake, and not because of the

  weight.

  I’m too close.

  Dangerously close.

  Close to throwing away everything I’ve been

  feeding myself for thirty years. Everything I’ve

  always believed. Everything I’ve always fought

  for. I’m so close that I feel her weight directly on

  my chest as if she were sucking away my breath.

  I hold her to my chest and her head falls onto

  my shoulder. Instinctively I give her a kiss on the

  forehead and take in her perfume that fills my

  nostrils, assaults my senses, until abandoning me

  in a place I’ve never been, I’ve never been a part

  of, and to which I never thought I would belong.

  I set her down softly on the bed and cover her

  with the blanket. I observe her for a few minutes

  and it seems like I’m holding my breath and I can

  hear my own heartbeat.

  Then I turn and walk away quickly, to avoid the

  knowledge that the thing I’ve been running from

  my whole life grabs me and throws me against the

  wall. That it drags me towards the unknown and

  into something terrible that could only hurt me.

  And hurt her.

  5

  Erin

  “So, how’d it go yesterday?” Rain asks me.

  “I got my stuff and came back here.”

  “Was Patrick helpful to you?”

  “Uhm-mmm,” I murmur, hiding behind a cup of

  tea.

  “Have you thought about what to do?”

  Of course I’ve thought about it. That’s all I do

  all day long is think about it.

  I’m still studying, I’ve got to graduate and apply

  for my PhD. Follow in my father’s footsteps. I had

  a lot of plans and now everything’s coming

  undone.

  “I don’t know what to do, Rain,” I confess,

  setting down the cup of tea on the table and curling

  up on the couch. “I didn’t have this in mind for

  myself.”

  “I know, dear, but it’s happened, you can’t

  pretend that it didn’t or avoid the unavoidable. You

  have to make a decision, and quickly.”

  “I don’t think I’m able to.” I sigh and the words

  that come out of my mouth weigh like a boulder

  on my heart. “Yeah, you know, I’m just twenty-

  two years old and I’m completely alone.”

  “You’re not alone, and you know it. I’m here …

  we’re here.” And she gently squeezes my arm.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I’d never be able to renounce it … it’ll never

  happen to me,” she says, closing her eyes and

  breathing deeply.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, leaning up and

  towards her.

  “The accident,” she replies with a sigh.

  I blink and I can just feel myself die at her

  words. I had no idea how she felt, and here I am

  complaining about my condition to her.

  “I’m sorry, Rain, that was insensitive.”

  “You couldn’t have known.”

  “Does Liam … know about it?”

  “Yes.” She smiles just slightly. “He knows

  everything and he’s been fabulous. I love him even

  more for that. I don’t want to confuse you or

  convince you to do something you’re not ready

  for, but I’d like for you to understand that

  sometimes things happen and there’s nothing we

  can do but take it for what it is. Accept it and find

  a solution. You’re lucky, Erin. You’ve had this gift

  even if now it doesn’t seem that way to you, for

  one day, believe me, it will be. And if you should

  decide to give it up now, you could regret it for the

  rest of your life.”

  “Oh Rain.” I hug her tightly. “I’m so sorry,” I

  add, close to tears.

  “Everything’s fine, I’m good. I have Liam and

  the guys and you. We’re a big family, and you’re

  part of it. You’ll never be alone while you’re here

  with us.”

  Her words reassure me. They are the only

  people I’ve got now, and even if I could call my

  father, have him run out here or for me to go to

  him, I know it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.

  It’s time for me to grow up, to be an adult, to make

  my decisions and take responsibility.

  I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby. Without

  a father.

  I pull away from her and take a deep breath.

  “We have to go downstairs.” I get up from the

  couch and look for my shoes. “I have to work as

  long as I’m able to.”

  “Just don’t exaggerate, okay? You’re in a very

  special condition.”

  “I don’t think that working in a pub can harm

  the baby.”

  Rain smiles. “That’s the first time you’ve said it

  out loud, you know?”

  “What?”

  “Baby.”

  I smile too before shaking my head, slipping my

  shoes on and heading out the door.

  “Come on, we got work waiting.”

  ~ ~ ~

  We prepare everything for the evening. I clean the

  tables, adjust the seating, and shine the glasses.

  The work is a nice distraction and helps me to

  forget about what I’ve got to do in the next few

  months and years. Worrying about what’s going to

  happen makes me nervous and the bile goes

  straight to my throat. The retching starts right on

  time, forcing me to run to the bathroom in back

  where Aaron and Jay are loading the fridge.

  I close the door behind me and kneel down and

  allow my stomach to empty what little it contains.

  We’re just at the beginning of my pregnancy and I

  have no idea how all this is going to go.

  I rinse my mouth out and splash my face with

  cool water before looking at myself in the mirror:

  not my best look. I’m starting to wonder if I’m

  going to make it through this evening.

  Then I open the door and find myself in front of

  two guys with their arms crossed across their

  chests.

  I swallow with great difficulty and hope they

  haven’t understood anything, that they don’t tell

  me to go away and not come back to work because

  I might puke on
the customers.

  “Everything okay?” Aaron asks.

  I nod and lower my glance and start fidgeting

  with my hands.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t work tonight.”

  ‘I’m fine,” I say, side-stepping past them.

  “I don’t think so,” Jay interrupts. “Your face

  doesn’t lie.”

  “Okay,” I concede. “Maybe I’m not at my best

  and a little rest would be good for me.”

  “Well then go, I’ve got you covered,” Jay

  concludes, resting a hand on my shoulder.

  “But today is your day off,” I protest.

  “I seriously have nothing to do.” He smiles,

  squeezing my shoulder. “Go on, I’ll stay here.”

  “Maybe just a half an hour,” I add.

  “Erin, you go lay down and don’t think about

  it,” Aaron concludes in an affectionate tone.

  I smile and thank them with my eyes while I

  back away towards my apartment. I go up the

  stairs and flop down on the couch, close my eyes

  and abandon myself to the desperation and solitude

  I feel right now.

  I’m never going to make it, I tell myself, before

  falling into an anxious sleep.

  Patrick

  “Okay, guys, quick meeting before we open.”

  Jay calls everyone’s attention before opening

  the doors for the evening.

  “What are you doing here? Wasn’t it your day

  off?” I call from the counter.

  “It was, but Erin said she wasn’t feeling well so

  I sent her upstairs. I’m taking her place.”

  “She’s not well? What wrong with her?”

  “She didn’t go into details, Patrick, but if

  someone says they aren’t feeling well, I believe

  them. It’s not my business, right?”

  “You could have asked.”

  “If you’re so interested, why don’t you call her

  and ask her yourself?”

  Without answering him I get up and leave the

  bar area, going straight for the back where the door

  is that heads up to the apartment. I don’t know

  why I’m doing it; or then again maybe

  unfortunately I know exactly why I’m doing it.

  But even though I don’t want to get mixed up in all

  this, I can’t help worrying about her. She’s alone

  and afraid, she’s not well and I know why.

  I knock on the apartment door but there’s no

  answer. I can’t hear anything inside and I’m

  starting to worry. Getting nervous, I push the door

  open, finding that she hasn’t locked it. I walk into

  the living room where I see her asleep on the

  couch.

  And I let out a sigh of relief and approach her

  slowly. She’s resting and seems calm, so I decide

  not to wake her and just take a moment to watch

  her without being seen.

  Not that I’ve never done this before. I’ve looked

  at her a few times over the past months, but Erin

  works for us and up until a few days ago she was

  in a relationship, so getting involved with her is

  not something I’d want to get into.

  And yet, now I can’t help smiling at hearing her

  light snoring, the color in her cheeks and the

  lovely blessed expression she has on her face right

  at this moment.

  I turn suddenly to avoid these thoughts that are

  wearing me down, dominating me. I guess I’d

  better get out of here and get back to work and

  stop thinking about things I shouldn’t be

  contemplating.

  “Hey!”

  She blocks me at the door, calling out with her

  sleepy voice. “How long have you been here?” she

  asks, pulling herself up to a sitting position.

  I turn again and swallow these new and

  terrifying feelings.

  “I just came up to see how you were. Jay said

  you weren’t feeling well.”

  “I was just tired. Seems like I never sleep

  enough.”

  I smile because I’ve seen this many times in the

  past and I know that pregnancy brings along

  difficulties and a sense of tiredness, especially at

  the beginning.

  “I’m feeling better now. Maybe I could go back

  down—”

  “Stay there,” I interrupt her. “Don’t you dare go

  back to work.”

  What the hell am I saying? Where are these

  alpha male overprotective words coming from?

  “I’m not sick, Patrick, you don’t have to worry

  about me,” she says resentfully.

  “I don’t want one of my employees to work

  when they aren’t in a condition to do so.”

  Asshole.

  And liar.

  “Sure, but that’s the only reason, right?”

  Absolutely not.

  “Yes,” I say instead.

  “Okay, well, I need to work, in case you haven’t

  understood. I’m alone and I need to keep this job.”

  “What about your dad? Have you called him?”

  “Not yet,” she says, blushing and falling back

  onto the couch, covering her eyes with her hands.

  “I don’t want to do it until I’ve made a decision.”

  I shake my head to show my disapproval but

  say nothing. I think that she should call him, for

  she needs her family right now.

  “You wanna get a breath of fresh air?” I ask her,

  slipping my hands into my jeans pockets and

  looking at my feet. I think she needs to relax and

  probably get some air outside of these four walls.

  “With you?”

  I give her a half smile. “I’d like to take you

  somewhere.”

  ~ ~ ~

  We sit down on a rock, each of us holding on to

  something because it’s one of those windy-as-hell

  days and here, on the hills of Howth, the weather

  seems to be getting worse.

  I’ve brought her to my special spot, the place

  where I come when I need to be alone, and to think

  and just get some clarity. I’ve never shared it with

  anyone and don’t really understand why I feel the

  need to do it now with her, but it seemed like she

  needed it.

  “It’s nice,” she thanks me. “Did you know I’ve

  never been here?”

  “It’s a good thinking spot. I come here when I

  need to.”

  “And let’s see here … what do you need to

  think about? Which idiot to sleep with?”

  She freezes as soon as I turn to look at her.

  “Uhm, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Erin is contrite. “It’s certainly not my business and

  you’ve been so good to me and now I’m attacking

  you.”

  “It’s the hormones,” I tell her, smiling.

  She doesn’t reply, she just turns to look at the

  horizon and gets lost in her thoughts.

  I don’t want to bother her, so I limit myself to

  taking in the panoramic view too. It’s a natural

  stretch of land whose tip disappears into the sea

  and where on clear days you can see the lighthouse

  in the distance and also the Ireland Eye. It’s

  undoubtedly a breathtaking view, especially at

  sunset, but I can
’t help taking in her perfect profile

  out of the corner of my eye: her upturned nose, her

  windblown hair. It seems like an image a painter

  would create in order to transform something that

  was already perfect into something sublime.

  What the devil am I doing? I don’t need this,

  and I sure don’t need her.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she confides in me

  suddenly without moving her glance away from

  the view. “I’d really like to think I could do it, but

  I’m not able to, Patrick. What do I know about

  babies? What do I know about sacrifice, work and

  bills? What do I know about life? I’ve always lived

  by relying on my father and then I moved in with

  Nate and I depended on him. I don’t know what to

  do on my own; I don’t even know how to take care

  of myself. I’m still like a little girl,” she concludes,

  as tears start streaking her silent face. “And if I

  even start to think about another solution … you

  see? I can’t even say the words.”

  I take my hand out from my pocket and bring it

  to her face. I tuck back a tress of her wild hair

  behind an ear just in time to see the last tear glue

  itself to her cheek.

  I brush it away and she sighs just slightly.

  “I think you’ve already made your choice.”

  6

  Erin

  I am definitely better today and it’s strange

  because it’s also my first visit to the gynecologist.

  Rain is going with me. I didn’t ask her to, she

  volunteered.

  I’m sitting at the counter drinking a cup of tea

  and waiting for Rain to arrive. The pub is closed

  and I’ve got enough time to get back here before

  work starts.

  Patrick arrives and slams the door open. He’s

  wearing his can’t do without sunglasses, as if there

  was ever any sun around here; he has on his

  indispensable leather jacket and a pair of jeans

  from another lifetime. He takes off his glasses as

  soon as he sees me and my stomach does a couple

  of somersaults to remind me it’s time to empty it.

  Or maybe that’s not it at all.

  His eyes are as dark as night and they pierce me

  for a few seconds, and I forget for a moment that

  I’m pregnant, that I’m alone and, especially, who

  he is. I can’t get worked up about certain things.

  It’s the hormones, that’s it.

  It isn’t him.

  Absolutely not.

  “Hey,” he greets me with a nod of the head.

  “Hi,” I respond a bit timidly.